I know you sometimes feel holding a grudge in order to protect yourself feels easier. But, you are only hurting yourself. Bitterness grows where there is unresolved pain. (Ephesians 4:31-32)
Bitterness affects you more than it affects the person that hurt you. Don’t punish yourself in an attempt to punish him. (Matthew 6:14-15)
Forgiveness does not mean you are accepting what they have done wrong. When you are choosing to forgive someone, it means you are releasing yourself from carrying the weight of that pain. Forgiveness is an important part of self-care. You have to take better care of ourselves by intentionally monitoring what you allow to take up residence in your mind and emotions. (Ephesians 4:32)
When things have gone wrong in your marriage, it is important that you focus on your healing. Yes, it is important for your marriage to be restored. But, the first stage in restoring your marriage and making sure you get the healing you need. If you don’t focus on your healing first, you will reenter your marriage, with the weight of unresolved issues clouding your vision and decisions. You will make decisions from a place of brokenness. Guarded decision making will never bless your marriage or produce unity in your marriage. (Mark 11:25)
If he continues to repeat the offenses and you still want to come to a healthy resolve.
There are 3 options.
- Have the conversation again with the understanding of a consequence being issued if the violation occurs again. For example, if he is not managing the money properly, you agree to be responsible for managing the money.
- Agree to couples counseling.
- Identify someone in your husband’s life that he respects and listens to. Schedule time for you all to sit down and talk about your concerns.
Either way, in order for your marriage to be restored, it’s important that you stop carrying the stress of unforgiveness and allow yourself to heal from the emotional and mental fatigue. Not just for your marriage, but, for yourself and your emotional freedom.
If you are ready to heal from a broken heart & restore your marriage after a heartbreaking betrayal then my course Healing & Rebuilding trust is perfect for you.
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Stay blessed Sis!
Arrettres Hollins
Founder of Balanced Wife Life Academy